The Game
by The Maine Coon Cat
Summary: POST TRC  The battle is over, all is said and done- but is it really over for Fai? Kurogane must cast the die in Fai's old game of lies and half-truths to find out.


Hey, Guys! This is my first TRC fic, though I've been in the fandom for quite a while. :) Hope you like it.

[TRC and all related characters are co. CLAMP]

_Synopsis: The battle is over, all is said and done- but is it really over for Fai? Kurogane must cast the die in Fai's old game of lies and half-truths to find out. _

The Game

It had all been said and done. The battle was over, the villain defeated, the damsel in distress rescued and returned to her own. All that was left to do now was to pick up the pieces- or, in this case, the feathers. Shards of the princess Sakura's memories (or should he say "Tsubasa's memories" now?) were still scattered across an unknown number of dimensions, waiting to be retrieved. It was a daunting task, but Kurogane knew it could have been worse. At least he had traveling companions he could actually tolerate.

Surrounding him in the steam-propelled train manufactured by the people of their newest world were said companions. Syaoran (or was he "Tsubasa" now, too?) had his head leaned against the filmy glass window, his eyes closed in what Kurogane knew was a deep, but easily disturbed sleep. Mokona was tucked inside the crook of his arm, dozing peacefully. The only other person awake besides himself was Fai. The mage, who had been staring silently out at the night-darkened countryside, suddenly blinked, as though through preternatural awareness he had sensed Kurogane's thoughts about him. Perhaps he had.

"Can't sleep?" He whispered; and though his tone was light, the ninja heard the underlying current of concern that ran through it.

Of all the things that had puzzled him amidst their many adventures, Kurogane puzzled over this companion the most- and one question about him haunted Kurogane more than anything else...

Had it all been said and done for Fai?

The man was no longer an incomprehensible puzzle, at least. He still had his mysteries about him- Kurogane was certain that he would never completely plumb the depths of Fai's mind- but he seemed much more willing to give the frustrated ninja hints when they were demanded. He smiled sincerely, laughed sincerely, and was able to bond with others more freely than he'd ever been able to, but...

But he had gone to Hell and back, and once you've gone through Hell, do you ever fully heal? Kurogane was strong, and he was strong enough to admit (at least to himself) that he would never be entirely unscarred by the violent deaths of his parents. That experience had changed him, marked him irrevocably and made him the person he was today. Fai was a strong person in most respects, but he was also brittle in all the places that counted. Because of this brittleness, he had been duped, manipulated, and forced to live a lie for most of his life. You didn't heal completely from that, no matter how good things got afterwards. Hell was never just "said and done".

At least, that was what Kurogane suspected. He had never asked the mage aloud. There were times, though, when he was sure he saw the old sorrow flare up in his companion's blue eyes. Times when Fai thought that Kurogane wasn't looking. Like tonight.

He had grunted at the magician's earlier question; now he gathered up his courage to play The Game. It was "The Game" with Fai; the old game of attack and defense, worry and anger, in which the wrong move could end everything abruptly, like a book slapped shut just as it was being opened. If he made the wrong move, played the wrong hand, he risked Fai's silence. "'Can't sleep?'" He echoed, "That would be obvious. What about you?"

The die had been cast. It was Fai's move now. In the old days, he'd be met with a plastic grin and a pseudo-flirty, _"Maybe Kuro-sama is keeping me awake..." _which was designed to irritate and throw said Kuro-sama off track. Kurogane was ashamed to count the number of times it had worked. Now, he readied himself for a similar tactic.

Fai's benign smile had melted away like wax, his blue eyes probing Kurogane's face for information the ninja couldn't be sure he was providing. Instead of grinning, however, he tilted his head lightly, "What do you mean?"

A loaded question, but not necessarily a trap. Fai's tone had been gentle, and Kurogane didn't feel as though his next words were bouncing off a brick wall. "You look like you're a million miles away."

It was phrased almost as a question- not an accusation, which he had learned from practice would shut the mage down immediately. He kept his gaze steady, his own tone as non-threatening as he could manage. The magician's eyes danced back and forth, as though darting over a hand of cards. Kurogane knew that look; Fai did have a hand of cards, and he was deciding which one to throw down next.

At last, he smiled, shrugging, "I was just thinking, is all."

_"Just thinking"_. Well, it was better than "just tired" or "just enjoying the scenery". Those, too, would mean an end to the game. Kurogane mentally checked his own hand, "About what?"

Now _that _was a loaded question, at least it was in Fai's world. Just because he expected the ninja to tell everyone whenever his arm hurt or some other stupid little thing was bothering him didn't mean that he was always willing to do the same- no matter how much he preached about it. Kurogane watched the mage's eyes; they were always the first give-away. Looking into them, he could tell whether he was going to get a straight answer or a hypocritical one.

They flickered, just once. Hypocritical, then.

The Card Shark's lips stretched into his old, mask-like grin, his voice low and cunning, "Awww, is Kuro-pi _worried_ about me?"

Kurogane almost heaved a sigh, but knew the mage would see it as a sign that he was getting to him. Instead, he leaned back as though he had all the time in the world. Which, in this world, he did. Then, he took a new card from his deck and set it on the table between them.

"Yeah, I am."

It was a huge gamble on Kurogane's part, and Fai had not been expecting that. His grin vanished like smoke, eyes popping open as he jerked upright in his seat. Kurogane, not himself, had just taken the game to the next level, and now the Card Shark was on the spot. The conversation might end now, Kurgane knew- and it would end badly for both of them. That was the risk he had been afraid to take. Sometimes, however, you had to risk it all to win The Game.

Fai sat, immoble, staring at the dark man across the seat from him as though he'd suddenly grown another head. Kurogane rarely admitted to feeling concern. He rarely admitted to feeling, period. If Syaoran were awake (which thank heaven he wasn't), he would probably have had a similar apoplectic reaction.

The mage couldn't seem to process what had happened for a moment. Then, in a small, almost child-like voice, he asked, "You are?"

Kurogane did sigh this time; it wouldn't affect The Game one way or another anymore. Bad enough he'd had to admit his feelings once- now he would be forced to confirm them. "I said I was, didn't I?"

"Yes, well..." Fai's tone was graver now, and Kurogane saw that his gamble had paid off. The giddy facade had been stripped away, leaving the mage's features pale and dull. "I wonder why."

Kurogane let this one fall. It wasn't a card, it was something honest that- while he didn't know exactly what it meant at face value- was leading him closer to the answer he had been searching for. Resignedly, Fai slumped back in his seat and turned towards the window.

"I really was just thinking, you know." He intoned.

It was an open statement; the move was his, "About what?"

No sigh, no movement, except the eyes. There was no hypocrisy in them now. "About things I can't change."

At one time, Kurogane would have made the fatal mistake of jumping on him with a devastating, _"Why think about things you can't change?" _Though it still didn't make sense to him, he was experienced enough in his dealings with Fai to hold his tongue. "Things like..."

He didn't reply. A bad sign.

"Like your brother?"

Another dangerous move, and it came with a dangerous reaction. Fai's head snapped toward him accusingly, cold fury transforming his eyes into two gleaming shards of blue ice. They bored into the ninja with a dark intensity that bordered on malignance, and Kurogane realized that he'd almost forgotten how unnerving the small blonde mage could be. He hadn't even been aware that he'd tensed up for battle until he found himself relaxing at the sight of Fai's shoulders slackening. An angry Fai was not a Fai he wanted to deal with, especially not with the brat and the bun so close.

"Yes." The ice might have melted from his eyes, but there was a lingering freeze in Fai's voice, "Like my brother."

Well, that answered part of his question. Time to play a different hand, one that would hopefully bring them back to the true point of the game- and out of deeper waters. "You said you wonder why I- " Pride almost choked off his next words, but he plowed through, "worry about you. Why?"

The mage looked at him in surprise, then smirked. A quick, bitter quirk of the lips that worried Kurogane even more. "There are a lot of things I would change if I could." he began softly, his gaze darting over Syaoran and Mokona, "Sometimes I wonder, would Syaoran be safe at home with his princess right now, Mokona with the Witch, and you with your Tomoya-chan... if it hadn't been for me?"

Ah, so there it was. Now that it was laid before him, Kurogane realized it was exactly what he had been expecting. The magician might have prided himself on his tricks and illusions, but once you pulled back the curtain, he was strangely unsurprising. Fai apparently sensed this too, because before the ninja could respond, he began to explain in an uncertain, almost sheepish ramble, "Oh, I don't dwell on it, and I don't let it get in the way of my life now. Just... sometimes..."

"You wonder." Kurogane finished for him.

"And you worry." There was a hint of the Old Smile in that, but Kurogane wasn't about to let Fai make that move again. He'd had enough distractions for one night.

He leaned back, crossing his arms as he always did when he was irritated with someone. That someone usually being the fluff-headed blonde who was currently occupying his time. Fai obviously knew the look, because the smile twitched and dropped. "You know, I'd think a magician or whatever like you would be smarter." A sad chuckle issued from his companion, "I'm serious. You can recognize hidden magic and see people's true motives when no one else can- but you can't seem to make sense of the simple stuff that's right in front you."

The ninja gestured towards Syaoran and Mokona, whose peaceful faces showed no traces of the misery that the mage believed he had inflicted upon them. "You think we'd still be traveling with you, if we cared about what you did back then?"

His words seemed to hit Fai like a physical blow. His lips went tight as his blue eyes fell on the sleeping pair, "No..." He agreed, his voice hoarse, "I guess not."

"What you did- the lies you told, and what happened because of them- that's all in the past. I don't bother with the past; the only thing that concerns me is what affects my future. I've told you that before."

The mage didn't look up at him this time, "But don't you see, it _was_ your future that I affected. I- "

Time to bring this game to its end, come what may. He was placing all his chips on the table, and all bets were off.

Taking the edge of his sleeve in his fist, Kurogane yanked it violently up, revealing the mechanical arm underneath. Fai's jaw dropped in shock, then clamped shut again. "You think I would've done this, if I didn't want you to be part of my future?"

It was the final card, and he had won. The Card Shark's expression had lost its duplicity. His eyes widened, then grew soft, and Kurogane at least had the grace to look away when he realized that they were growing moist as well. For several minutes, silence pervaded the compartment as the mage struggled with his emotions.

Finally, he choked, "So you... forgive me, then?"

The person who uttered the words was not the man in front of him, but a small, shivering child abandoned in a field of corpses for which he was tricked into having taken blame. The man before him, Kurogane knew, was as vulnerable now as he ever had been. Perhaps more so.

He leaned forward, intent on driving the point home. "I was never angry with you."

Fai had turned his face away from the ninja before; now, he looked back at him, and Kurogane thought he had never seen anything more pathetic.

Huffing, he tugged his sleeve back down. He may have won this time, but there was little glory in it. "As for us getting back to our worlds...don't worry about it. We'll get back eventually, and it's not as though I'm in any hurry." He paused, briefly imagining the look on his princess' face once he returned. "I'd get bored just hanging around Tomoyo's palace all day anyway."

The words hung in the air between them a moment, before the ninja was aware of a small, repetitive little noise coming from somewhere. Frowning, he glanced around the compartment, wondering if something on the infernal train had come loose. Then, to his shock, he realized that the sound was issuing from none other than his former opponent. The Card Shark was doubled over in his seat, laughing as Kurogane had never seen him do so before.

After several highly disconcerting seconds, in which the ninja sat sputtering and trying to make sense of what had caused such a hysterical reaction, the mage got himself under control and smiled. Really, honestly smiled. Tears were still dancing in his eyes, and Kurogane somehow doubted they were all from the laughter. "Bored. Yes, I can imagine that." He chuckled, in a voice so deeply affectionate that the ninja fought down a blush. "Yes, I can imagine poor Kuro-poo languishing about on our dear Tomoyo's doorstep, like a retired war horse aching for one more battle. I did give you some decent adventures, didn't I?"

"You?" The ninja snorted, "You stick me with the grunt work while you lay around all the time, if that's what you mean."

Another chuckle, "And Kurgie puts up with me anyway."

He felt the blush crawl up his cheeks despite his best efforts to control it. Quickly, he swung his face towards the window, hoping the darkness would conceal the pinkish tinge from his companion's keen eyes. He doubted it would. "Idiot."

"You know, Kurgs, you're adorable when you blush..."

That was a whole different Game, one that Kurogane was in no mood to play. Several shades redder than before, he growled, "Shut up."

The mage laughed softly, turning his eyes towards the window once more. This time, they were clear and bright. "Get some sleep." he whispered.

Surprisingly, sleep was no longer hard to come by.


End file.
